another year passed

happy new year..another year passed..nothing to regret..yet alot need to change..for the better..may Allah swt ease everything..thanks to everyone that have cheerish me throughout the year..and im sorry to those that i have hurt..im just a normal human being, cant stop from making mistakes..forgive me..may us become a better person to ourselves and to those around us..

gila tak rindu??

al kisah laa, aku sekarang stay kat bilik syaza, member masa kt kmpk sementara nak buat rayuan kolej ni..roomate syaza ni plak classmate aku.. nampak tak relation dia kat situ..so selalu laa lepak and borak sambil makan and buat keje malam2.. tiba2 syaza tanya madi, roomate dia merangkap classmate aku tu, macam mana dengan bf dia..aku tau laa sikit2 cerita pasal madi n bf dia ni..syaza cakap dorang ni jarang contact sebab jauh and masing2 sibuk dengan urusan belajar..bf madi study dekat pahang..then madi cakap both of them decide tak nak contact each other sangat for a while..biar masing2 ada ruang nak uruskan diri sendiri..so syaza tanya laa tak rindu ke.. then madi cakap "gila tak rindu..kalau dia rindu aku, aku sejuta kali lagi rindu kat dia"..
somehow, benda ni buat aku terfikir..untungnya madi and bf dia, boleh saling rindu and sayang..bila pulak turn aku??bukan aku tak nak, tapi aku tak boleh.. i mean aku da try, tapi macam takde perasaan je aku ni.. mayat hidup..siapa laa agaknya orang yang akan dapat buat aku ada perasaan nanti..mesti dia someone yang hebat..sebab aku sendiri pon tak dapat nak buat diri aku sayang orang..
yang pasti, aku tau orang tu wujud..cuma aku je tak jumpa dia lagi..curious pulak nak tau macam mana orang tu..kalau lahh ada doremon, aku dah pinjam dah mesin masa dia..tp masalah jugak sebab mesin masa dia dalam laci meja..mana aku muat nak masuk.. haa..kan dah melalut..ok lah..nak tunggu lelaki hebat tu muncul dulu ye..tadaa..

kekasih utusan Allah swt

happy belated birthday syg..i hope u had a great one..maaf ye tak wish u on dat day..i kena grounded hari tu..phone, internet semua kena ambik..serious ayah i marah sebab.... i yg cari pasal..haha..nakalnye..nmpak je baik..adoii..

anyway i had nothing special to give as a present..just this piece of plain paper with my bad handwriting.. hee..and..yeah, a shawl for you..i know you like shawl but i dont know which or what kind..harap you suka..klau tak suka bagi i balik laa..haha..lama i pilih..sampai bosan tuan kedai..

meera sayang..i really2 appreciate you as a friend.. you've been really special one..with your special self and a very kind heart..baiknya hati you..moga Allah balas semuanya dan moga Allah panjangkan lagi persahabatan kita hingga syurga..insyaAllah..

i bagi you selendang ni...dengan harapan you akan pakai..dan ia akan pelihara mahkota you..moga Allah terus bagi you petunjukNya dan kekuatan untuk jadi muslimah yg lebih baik..i nak masuk syurga..and i nak you ada sama..aminn..moga Dia izinkan..

p/s : surat ni dari syahirah sempena my 20th birthday.. aku kongsikan sebab aku terlalu bersyukur dianugerahi sahabat sepertinya..ya Allah, peliharalah hubungan ini..di kala ramai yang cuba menyakiti, dia sentiasa di sisi dan menghargai diri ini..semoga persahabatan ini sampai ke syurga..aminn..

My path

Whenever i feel like there is nothing i can do, or i dont know what else can i do, i tend to write it..same goes this time..i really dont know what else can i do..i never want it to be like this..at one point, i really thought that i can leave my life peacefully again..at one point, i really thought i have got my life back.. Its not easy, i swear to god..to forget everything that has happen..but i take it as one of my life experience..i learn something from that..i learn to forgive and forget..i never intended to hurt anyone..that i even want to take their pain and give them my happiness..i know i am not the good girl here..but i try to be one..i know Allah swt will always be with me.. May all this make me stronger..when the cut have became a scar, it bleeds again..and i know it will heal again.. Eventually.. Because im stronger now..oh Allah, thanks for giving me the strength..for me not to deal the problems wrongly..and please always be with me..and guide my path..

God have better plan

Everytime something bad happen, i always think it happen for a reason..ada hikmah di sebalik setiap kejadian..but sometimes i just cant find a good reason behind what happen..because what can i feel is just pain and tears..i always ask is it true there is always a good reason behind everything that happen?? But i have faith in Allah swt..i know he knows what is the best for everyone.. Sometimes we dont know what is the best for us..we just want something that can make us happy..but it doesnt mean that is the best for us..he gave us rain when we hope for the sun shine..but we dont know later on he gave us a beautiful rainbow..
All this while, i keep on searching for good reasons of what have happen to me..but i can only see tears in my eyes..but now i know..he want me to wait patiently until the right time comes..and at that time, the happiness that i get is more than what i want..its worth waiting for..because now i can smile again..
I never thought a small word, a single message would change my world.. And i wouldnt ask anything anymore..its already enough for me..because i already get my smile again..

Thank you, Allah..for listening my prayer..
Thank you my old friend.. Because you have give me back my smile..
There is nothing i want more..

Camwhore dengan varsity matriks

Aku ni kan sayang sangat dengan matriks perak dulu.. Everything pasal kmpk, everything yang jadi kat sana, everyone yang ada kat sana, give me memories that i will never can replace.. so hari tu bila ada je member matriks cakap boleh order varsity rugby team kmpk, memang aku terus order la cerita dia.. mana boleh miss.. kalau miss ni memang aku cari batu belah batu bertangkup laa..(eh2, terover plak)..so hari demi hari, detik demi detik berlalu, finally siap laa varsity tu..bila member cakap je dah post, rasa macam taknak keluar rumah nak tunggu varsity tu sampai..(nampak tak semangat tu)..bila dahsampai, first thing to do, tangkap gambor ler..ape lagi..so here there are..teringat balik pahit manis setahun jadi warga kmpk dulu..sob sob..

                                                  Rise and Shine

AMEERA ROSLAN

She

When other people born to be perfect, 

She struggle just to look good..

When other people enjoying the happy moments,

She just wish she have a sweetdream..

When other people laughing tears of joy, 

She just wish she can stop cry..

When other people wearing new cloth, 

She just hope she still have the old one..

When other people enjoying the love,

She just hope she can feel it once..

When other people having a family time,

she just wish she have one..

                                                     Rise and Shine

AMEERA ROSLAN